In fifth grade I moved to a new town in Wisconsin and a new school where I only kind of knew two other students. I got to school and my new teacher pointed me to my seat. Another girl, Sara, was assigned to show me around the school and introduce me to people. She was my lifeline. She was popular, had friends and seemed nice enough. I thought with her on my side, I might actually fit in.

I was sorely mistaken. She pointed out where the bathrooms and classrooms were and then skipped off to her real friends. They left me alone at recess. While everyone else was having fun, I was following Sara and her group around the playground like a lost puppy. But to them, I was just an annoying geeky new girl. They never talked to me, never looked at me, never even tried to make me feel welcome in a scary new school.

But that wasn't even my worst experience. About a year and a half later, when I finally starting to make friends, I moved again. This time it was more extreme, from cold Wisconsin to sunny California. My school in California was larger than I ever thought possible. I never even knew how many kids were in my grade due to the class set-up. I was in a class that rotated from one teacher to another, then back again for every subject. Many of the children had gone to school together for years; I was the odd one out.

Once again, two girls volunteered to show me around. They walked right in Sara's footsteps, leading me to lunch and then running off. I sat by myself, eating my lunch under a little tree, for what seemed like forever.

Finally, I struck up a friendship with another outcast named Natasha. She introduced me to her few friends and showed me around the huge campus. Without her, I might have sat under that little tree the entire time I lived in California. Instead, we spent weekends at her house, telling her younger brothers to go away and swimming in a nearby river. We even had matching swimming suits.

And then I moved again, back to Wisconsin, and back to Sara's town.

Things in Wisconsin were different once I moved back. I made friendships, many of which have lasted until now in tenth grade.

Though I still remember what it felt like to be left out, I'm finally starting to forgive Sara.

I've been excluded and know how awful it feels to see everyone else laughing with friends. When I read the stories people submit of successful Mix It Up days at their school, I break into a smile. It feels good to know that less and less kids are facing what I lived through.

Talk It Out!

The following questions can be used as discussion or writing prompts as part of classroom or club activities. We welcome essay and poetry submissions from students and compensate student writers when we publish their work.

• In two different schools, a student assigned to help welcome Lita Medinger quickly "skipped off to her real friends." Why do you think that is? Could you ever see yourself doing the same thing? Why or why not? Is there a better way to welcome new students?


• Lita Medinger describes one of her new friends as "another outcast." Have you ever felt like an outcast? How long did that last? What, if anything, happened to change that feeling? Do you see "outcasts" in your own school? How do you treat those people?


• Near the end of the essay, Lita Medinger explains that she is "finally starting to forgive" the classmate who abandoned her. How difficult is it to forgive someone who has wronged you? Do you feel better or worse after forgiving someone? Have you ever been forgiven for something you did wrong? How did that feel?

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