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It is difficult to imagine the high school experience without cliques or social boundaries.
Although high school offers a wide variety of groups and organizations intended to help students make new friends, these groups actually are responsible for many of the boundaries that exist.
From the day a new freshman class begins its year, everyone in it sub-consciously divides themselves into social groups. Many of these groups originate through sports teams or extra curricular clubs that begin meeting in the summer, before the school year commences. By the time school starts, several well-developed cliques already have been formed.
Students often are grouped in classes according to their abilities. For the high academic achievers this means spending the entire day with many of the same people. It also means they quickly fall into their own "high achieving" group.
The majority of the remaining cliques are based on popularity. These are the students who, due to their appearance, style and family incomes, think they are better than everyone else. And no one dares to contradict them, leaving them to act with an air of superiority throughout their high school years.
Rounding out the class are miscellaneous groups – drama club kids, computer "nerds" and all others who don't fit into any of the aforementioned neat little packages.
Stepping out of line
Most students know better than to transgress any of the well-defined social constraints around them. But every so often a conflict emerges over someone stepping out of line.
In my own experience, a simple question resulted in a near confrontation with a classmate from a different social group.
I needed to ask the classmate about a project we were working on in a class together. Within the classroom setting our relationship was fine. Once we stepped into the hallways, however, everything changed.
As soon as her friends came by, she abruptly stopped talking to me. When I attempted to continue the conversation she turned and around and curtly replied, "I don't talk to people like you."
I was completely shocked at her sudden change in demeanor, but I soon realized what had occurred. Merely speaking to me in front of her friends would have been a risky move, testing the limits of our school's clearly defined social structure.
This experience, though hurtful, was a minor disagreement. Not everyone is so lucky. For others, many large-scale conflicts have erupted from the clash of opposing cliques.
Free to be me
I utterly detest cliques and social barriers.
I would love to be able to simply talk to others without thinking about who they are, who their friends are or what the consequences might be for just starting a conversation.
Unfortunately, in the rare event that someone actually upsets the balance of our social system, the effects usually are short-lived.
Currently I am a high school junior and have found it interesting to watch the cliques in my school evolve over the years. In some ways, lines are slightly beginning to blur, as some people finally are realizing how ridiculous the entire system of cliques really is.
Many people, including myself, are just beginning to truly be who they really are, because they are gaining self-confidence for the first time.
I now know that cliques are not at all the most important aspect of high school, and I should not waste my time worrying about them.
It is more important for me to be myself, and never exclude others just because I may see them as different. If only everyone could adopt this attitude, high school would be a much more enjoyable experience for all of us.
Talk It Out!
The following questions can be used as discussion or writing prompts as part of classroom or club activities. We welcome essay and poetry submissions from students and compensate student writers when we publish their work.
- Kira Moore talks about the "neat little packages" that define social groups at her school. Does your school do the same thing? What is your school's "clearly defined social structure?"
- In this essay, Moore talks about a student who treats her nicely in the classroom and rudely in the hallway. Does that happen in your school? Are social cliques as pronounced in the classroom as they are outside the classroom? Explain your answer.
- Moore sets a goal for herself to "never exclude others just because I see them as different." How difficult do you think that will be? What if everyone had that goal? Would that change how difficult it would be? And are there ways you can encourage that goal in your own school?
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