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TALK TO KIDS ABOUT... Cyberbullying
April 2006 -- This month, Tolerance.org's parenting columnist offers tips to keep your child informed about cyberbullying -- and safe from its effects.
 
by by Dana Williams
 
For at least the past 6 months, my 9-year-old son has been trying to convince me that he needs a cell phone.

"You'll be able to call me anytime you want when I'm outside playing or riding my bike," he tells me.

"You can even call my phone to tell me to come and bring you the TV remote, instead of yelling from another room."

And his favorite line: "All of my friends have one, and I don't!"

This really isn't an exaggeration. I've seen his 9- and 10-year-old friends toting cell phones, with hip ringtones and flashy face plates. Still, I'm not convinced third-graders have a real need for personal communication devices.

Already, I'm bracing myself for his next likely request -- a computer in his bedroom. Mostly, my son uses the computer to find cheat codes for the latest video games or information about his favorite music artists. But I know that just as he desires to chat with his buddies via cell phone, he soon will become interested in chatting with them online.

As he -- and his interest in cyberspace -- grows, I'm worried about how the latest technological gadgets and advancements will affect his safety. And statistics tell me I, like most parents, should be worried.

A 2005 study revealed about 18% of students in sixth through eighth grades reported they were cyberbullied at least once in the past two months.

Cyberbullying is defined as the use of technology, such as cell phones and the Internet, to degrade, harass or humiliate another person or group of people. The nameless, faceless nature of such technology makes it easier than ever for bullies to target other kids. That so many parents know so little about the technologies kids are using, and even less about the phenomenon of cyberbullying, makes the problem worse.

Experts advise all adults to learn more about cyberbullying and pay close attention to kids' online activities. Here are some prevention tips from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Stop Bullying Now! project:

For Parents

  • Keep your home computer(s) in easily viewable places, such as a family room or kitchen.

  • Talk regularly with your child about online activities he or she is involved in.

  • Talk specifically about cyberbullying and encourage your child to tell you immediately if he or she is the target of cyberbullying, cyberstalking or other illegal or troublesome online behavior.

  • Encourage your child to tell you if he or she is aware of others who may be the targets of such behavior.

  • Explain that cyberbullying is harmful and unacceptable behavior. Outline your expectations for responsible online behavior and make it clear that there will be consequences for inappropriate behavior such as restricted Internet or cell phone privileges.

  • Although adults should respect the privacy of children and youth, concerns for your child's safety may sometimes override these privacy concerns. Tell your child that you may review his or her online communications if you think there is reason for concern.

  • Consider installing parental control filtering software and/or tracking programs, but don't rely solely on these tools.
For Educators and Administrators
  • Educate students, teachers and other staff members about cyberbullying, its dangers and what to do if it occurs.

  • Be sure that your school's anti-bullying rules and policies address cyberbullying.

  • Closely monitor students' use of computers at school.

  • Use filtering and tracking software on all computers, but don't rely solely on this software to screen out cyberbullying and other problematic on-line behavior.

  • Investigate reports of cyberbullying immediately. If cyberbullying occurs through the school district's Internet system, the school is obligated to take action.

  • Notify parents of targets and parents of cyberbullies of known or suspected cyberbullying.

  • Closely monitor the behavior of students at school for possible bullying and investigate to see if targets may need support from a school counselor or school-based mental health professional.

  • Contact the police immediately if known or suspected cyberbullying involves acts such as: threats of violence, extortion, obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages, harassment, stalking, hate crimes or child pornography.
Parents must recognize that today's bullying often involves more than stolen lunch money or playground skirmishes. While it is important to expose our kids to the latest technologies, we must remain vigilant about their safety -- on and offline.

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